JEROME POWELL: Five Simple Ways To Teach Your Children To Spend More I’ve often found that children have difficulty spending money with reckless abandon. Here I’ve outlined some great strategies that you as parents can implement to ensure your little Johnny and Jane stop saving and start spending! 1. Set a good [...]
The Best Alternative Investments To Ruin Your Marriage An AirBnB - What a fun way to ruin your marriage! Find a perfect spot in a great location and pour all your liquidity into it. Then fix it up real nice and rent it out to bachelor parties or whoever else from the [...]
HISTORIC: The Original Avocado Toast Sells For $2.3 Million At the Sotheby's Contemporary Artifacts auction, the original avocado toast soared past expectations to sell for a whopping $2.3 million dollars. The sale was immediately denounced by millennials who say the toast is an historic cultural artifact that belongs in a museum, not [...]
MODERN DAY MOTHER TERESA: Investment Guru Offers Unlimited Wealth Seminars For Only Like $10,000 In the tradition of selflessness categorical of Mother Teresa, investment guru Brock Beckett is now selling a course on how to achieve unlimited wealth for merely $10,000 in pocket change. The two-week intensive will take place in a [...]
Fed Employee Reminds Children That Money Does Just Grow On Trees Rich Edwards, a recent hire at the Federal Reserve, went on a substantial spending spree in early May, shortly after starting his new position. Within a week he had purchased $8,000 rims for his Hyundai Elantra, a pony for his daughter [...]
Uber Driver Sure Knows A Lot About Bitcoin When Danielle Reid hailed an Uber after brunch, she had no idea she would be treated to a masterclass on the intricate workings of the cryptocurrency market. After just a 15-minute ride, Reid reports learning all about the sophisticated world of digital investing, including [...]
Reddit Investors Show Wall Street They Can Do Just As Much Cocaine A group of millennials, coordinating through a Reddit board, have shocked the financial world by proving they can do just as much cocaine as Wall Street professionals. “The hedge fund crowd thinks that because they’re millionaires with fancy suits and [...]
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: This Father Worked His Entire Life To Provide His Children Enough Money To Invest In Random Cryptocurrencies Worries about financial security hit a fever pitch when one becomes a parent. There is a fundamental urge to provide for children and an ensuing contentment that comes from the knowledge that they’re [...]
Millennial Investor Jumps Out 1st Story Window After Losing $65 On Crypto Cryptocurrency fanatic and 25-year-old daytrader Avery Jacobs is being treated for minor injuries that occurred after he leapt from his parent’s 1st story window following his loss of $65 on cryptocurrency. When asked for comment, his mother reported she was [...]
Drunk Guy At Bar Selflessly Doles Out Day-Trading Advice Patrons lucky enough to have grabbed a drink at Brendan’s Irish Pub Tuesday night were treated to a barrage of unsolicited day-trading advice from a man calling himself, “just Joe.” The drunken individual didn’t charge a penny or ask for anything in return. [...]
