BREAKING: Gold Bug Pretty Sure Gold Price Going Up

The market was rocked today by a tweet from gold enthusiast Kevin Duprey, announcing that he believes the price of gold will go up.

As shockwaves from his prediction rippled through the financial world, Duprey added, “Gold may even replace the dollar.”

The announcement immediately sent Wall Street into a frenzied panic as traders scrambled to update their positions accordingly.

Millennials swarmed onto Robinhood and snapped up stocks with any combination of the letters G, O, L, and D in their ticker symbols, including a company that makes washing machine parts, a Japanese pet food supplier and even an actual gold mining company.

At press time, investors worldwide have their eyes glued to Mr. Duprey’s Twitter account and anxiously await his next pronouncement.

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